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| Tuesday, August 10th, 2004 | | 8:58 am |
personality test?.. hehehe..
31 to 40 Points: Score 39 Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken. errr... well.. this is my score.. hahaha.. took the test that yen leng post up in her livejournal... pretty interesting.. lol... I think I took the test somewhere before... mmm... can't really remember... ohh well.. ^______________^ | | Thursday, August 5th, 2004 | | 7:47 pm |
I feel sick today...
I'm pretty sick today since in the morning... had lots of cold sweat for the whole day, pretty sick tho... hmmm... maybe I honestly breaking down...well well.. thats not the point of me being here...
the point of me being here is because I MISS KATY~!!! I MISS YOU SO MUCH DARLING!!!!! >_< i honestly miss you so so much!!!! im missing u like mad...
I MISS YOU i miss you I miss you I miss you!!! i miss you so so much~~~!!! I love you I love You I love You I Love You I Love You So so Much I love You Like Mad Dog I love You Like Mad Cow I love you darling! I love you I love You I love You I love You I love you I love You I love You I love You So much I love you so so much I love you so so much I love you I love you I love you I love You I love you I love You I love You I love You I love Katy I Love Katy Ko I love you So So Much I love you like a mad person I love you SUPER LOTS! I love You ~! I love you I love You I love You I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DARLING!!! I LOVE YOU DARLING!!! I love you I love You I love You I love You I love You I love you lots and lots!!! I love you katy ko~~!! I love you Katy Ko always do and always will!!! NEVER WILL STOP!! NEVER EVER WILL STOP!!! I LOVE YOU MORE AND MORE EACH SECOND AND EACH OF MY HEARTBEAT! MY HEARTBEAT FOR YOU!!!! jet'aime!!! I love you darling~!! saya cinta padamu!!! I wanna cuddle up with you!!! >_< I miss you so much... I wanna hug you close and keep you warm!!! ... I miss you darling...
| | Tuesday, August 3rd, 2004 | | 9:27 pm |
Will tomorrow be a better day?
JULY 2004 - A month that I wish it never happen to have jot down so many difference into my life and left with so many sour memories for me to deal with. Pain that is beyond words could ever describe, deep scar that nothing can ever heal it, lost that can never be refill and words that were never meant to say when it hurts so many people.
August 2004 - I am looking forward to deal with all the consequences that I have to bear with for saying things that have hurt people deep into their heart, where they can't forget. Of course I wish that people can let bygone be bygones but the fact is that I know they can't. Well I can't even do it how can they? I can't find a reason for forgiving myself. I miss her so much, I wonder where is she now, is she still mad at me? is she happy, I really do miss her so much, I can't really sleep, I can't really think, I can't really smile. I miss her smile, I miss her touch, I miss her giggling, I miss her care, I miss her love, I miss her cooking, I miss holding her hands, I miss having her in my car, I miss bringing her out trying all kinds of food, I miss crossing roads with her, I miss her calling my name! I miss having her around! I miss receiving her phone calls! I miss her complaining! I miss the shy her.... I honestly miss her so much!... I'm sorry.... I know sorry can never change any of the fact of what happen... but I'm honestly sorry ... I do feel real helpless in this situation... if you can read this... please forgive me... I never meant to hurt your feelings for saying what I've said! Both of you means the world to me but in that very moment I've made a choice between both of you... forgive me!... I am sorry... if only you understand...... I too am struggling with all the guilt and pain for what have happen... I do love you very much as well.... hmmm... you've made a big difference no matter you're around or not... I'm sorry if I've really disappointed you.
Tears of joy when you're around,
Tears for celebration when you're around,
Tears of sadness when you aren't around,
Tears for departing when you aren't around,
Tears that bring joy and sadness falls for you,
Tears that takes part for a reason because I love you. | | Sunday, July 25th, 2004 | | 10:43 pm |
... ..... world collapse..
Shit happens... SSDD.. so true... same shit different day... I'm so lost now... the feeling is like around a city that you know nothing about... in the middle of a crowd that doesn't look familiar to you and rain drops are showering you throughly... heart shattered into pieces.. you're so alone and shivering from inside out... the sky look so grey and so cold... vehicles passing you by as if you're invisible.. ... I feel so lost... like a sailor without a compass.. felt so numb with all the feelings that one might feel.. couldn't bear to close my eyes up when all kinds of images revealing itself right in front of me... wouldn't wanna stay sober when all you can smell is blood stain..sentences that I've said at that very moment... promises that I've break... disappointment that I've bring into one's life... realizing how unbelievable I am... such a lump of junk... the worst lover a woman can get... the worst son a mother will have.. the worst grandson a grandma would look forward for.. within a split second everything could fall and comes in with a change of season... " the tomorrow that never comes " ... how hurtful a day can be for so many people... something that I never look forward to give to people that I love most.. I honestly feel awkward for being around when my presence remind others how things happen and how I kept picturing back how things happen... and through the space in between a conversation.. how I realize and notice I ain't there at the dance floor with her would bother me so much... speak of being sober now .. honestly... whats the point.. heartaching like as if it's being stab by a dagger that's dull ... never felt so lonesome and wanting to hide myself up so badly...mentally and physically I'm very ill.. cut the crap short... I am already collapsed.. I.. feel like a soldier that's limp...equalling what's the use of me being around when I'm such a useless lump of junk.. I wonder what will turn up more for me tomorrow at the yard... I wonder how long more can I last... some neat chivas and some neat vodka... ...... I don't know what else can I think of.. what else can I picture... I am going insane...my world is falling apart.... ..................... I am honestly feeling so doubtful of everything now... and realizing such a useless and worthless dude I am... what else should I expect more from now on.....
| | Friday, July 16th, 2004 | | 12:02 am |
Fuck'd up Life!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you ever wonder how fuck'd up life is?! I start to notice how lame it has been throughout this 22 years of nothing and still nothing! Miserable and all fucked up I don't think I could stop complaining and swearing till its 23rd of July..out to be where I rather I'm dead... it's so hard to go through the 15th where it why?! 'cause everything is so fuckin fuck'd up! I can't imagine how bad a day can turn out to be when it's suppose to be such a joyful day yet it ended up to be my worst day so far out of my 22 years of living in hell I say! Fly me away.. fly away I wanna be... Sorry to all those people that got yelled by me and nearly got bash up by me as well... I've already lost control of my emotion and can no longer hold my temper back! I miss my darlin' so badly... why the fuck'd I'm here complaining in stupid fuck'd up journal... I'm suppose to enjoy my vacation with darling instead of facing such fuck'd up visual basic square box typing lame stuff and swearing my life off as much as I can... I had enough of typing and coding and analysing and pressured lifestyle.. rushing here and there.. so tention... so fuck'd up... I hate myself so much... it's all my fault after all... I couldn't stop hating myself... I couldn't imagine how much I hate myself right now especially when the night is so lonely and quiet... knowing that I could have had my first hug from my darling.. knowing that I could have had my first smile from my darling... knowing that I could have had my first walk down a street holding my darling's hand... knowing that I could have had my very first warmth feeling for embracing my darling... knowing that I could have had my first dinner with my darling... knowing that I could have had my first giggling with my darling face to face... knowing that I could have had my first laughter with my darling.... when all turns out to be so blank.. iit's tormenting my heart so much... I've shed my tears like gawd knows how many times... I've to hide my emotion in my office.. and going back to the office early this morning .. act like nothing happen... how sour it can be... I hate myself even more when I just close my eyes.. pictures of how wonderful I can be right now sharing every single moment with darling... it cuts like a freaking sharp blade two thousand times per sec over my heart.. I bet the disappointment I've bought to darling can never be lesser than mine.. I'm sure she's in pain as well but it's just that she didn't wanna add on my worries.. and she acted tough in front of me... I'm sorry darling... I'm so sorry.... sorry is never enough in this very situation that I couldn't do anything to change it... I felt so helpless... la vie est malheureuse je détestent la vie où je me déteste je déteste tout excepté mon chéri ! je souhaite ainsi que je sois à Auckland en ce moment ! Respirant le même air que mon chéri est respirant et marchant sur la terre sur laquelle mon chéri marche.... ...................je me déteste tellement tellement tellement tellement... je m'ennuie de mon chéri tellement.... comment étonnamment la vie peut être ainsi baisé vers le haut...félicitation tout le monde des whos 22 ans de , vous lui avez fait complètement vos 22 années d'apprendre à quel point la vie étonnante peut être ainsi avez baisé vers le haut ! ..so basically fuck'd up life! thats it.. fuck'd myself... I am such an arsehole and I always screwed things up! ... hmmm.... .... joe if u were to read this tonight... wanna partner me to the side wall nearby to that freakin mosque ?!?!?! you know for what... like what I usually do... call me up if you're still awake around 2 something I'll wait till that time so I can go pick up our bullets... man... hmmm... screw everything! i hate myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! damn me!!!!!!!!! fucker have always had a fuck'd up life... and sucker have always had a suck'd down life as well...
As soon as you stepped through my door,
I saw You for the first time all over again.
And time well spent seems
Lonelier than the way it used to go.
As I smell you for the first time all over again
I'll begin to remember to be alive
So if you don't mind
I think I'll wear my heart on my sleeve,
'Cause I'm tired of not being able to bleed.
ALL OF US ARE SEARCHING FOR AN OPEN ARM!!
WELL ITS ASHAME HOW I CURL UP IN THE DARK!!!!!!
I've felt a loss for some time
I slipped, stumbled, but fell face first
straight into your hand.
Then I hit my head on your palm
And waking up to the smell
Of tears drying up in the sand
ALL OF US ARE SEARCHING FOR AN OPEN ARM!!
WELL ITS ASHAME HOW I CURL UP IN DA DARK!!
WHEN ITS THE SAME OLD WORD GIVING ME THE SPARK!!
ALL OF US ARE SEARCHING FOR AN OPEN ARM!!!
WELL IT'S ASHAME HOW I CURL UP IN THE DARK!!
FUCKED!!!!!!!! MOM'S BEING A B... AGAIN!!!!!!! SEE HOW FUCK'D UP LIFE CAN BE! ... I COULDN'T STAND HER ANYMORE... I WISH SO MUCH TO BREAK SOMETHING RIGHT NOW!!!! FUCK'D UP!!!!!!!!! FUCK EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!! | | Wednesday, July 7th, 2004 | | 9:34 pm |
Old Man's life... eat work..eat..sleep... = ???
Hey pal, have u guys ever wonder whats an old man's life aye?! goodness.. it's freakin BORING.. lemme tell ya~! It's just about.. Eat Work... Eat Work.. Eat Rest.. Work Sleep!! ohh yah and that leads to.. LIFELESS... man.. when u turn 22 / 23 u've a choice of life.. its either to continue with your studies with Master.. PhD or whatever shit... get a company to support u in it! or get a scholarship or accept whatever offer from any big Uni Research department's!! or you can just freakin come out and work your arse off like no tomorrow! They pay u and they expect more than what they pay! That's for sure! Anybody else whos working will tell you the gawd damn same thing what I'm telling you now.. even gigolos or whore have to freaking work hard and their customer expect more than what they pay for.. freakin hell... like it or not.. this is REALITY! so when u have the chance to study! study like mad! and spend the rest of ur life GET PAID for studying! thats what RESEARCHER do best! and get NOBEL! man... I want that kinda job! it's so fun!! instead of what I'm doing right now.. codings... analysing..designing.. freakin hell.. u get to even dream of BINARY CODES at night! haunting u to finish up ur freakin design or system.. so stuff up!! I want a less stress life!!... thats what I want all the time.. and look at me.. I'm getting myself all stress up with work nowadays! I dont even have time for my own leasure on books or whatever that I used to enjoy doing!... ohh well... I didn't really wanna do updates actually.. coz I'm still not really over with what my mom did to my laptop yet.. and logging in here reminds me of what happen that night.. my whole freakin OS just crash like nobody's business.. thanks to my sweet sweet mom.. >_< f...k it.. ok.. I've something cute for everybody... the coolermaster jet 7!! man it works real well.. without it.. hahahaha compu freaks like us can say bye bye for ur processor and ur comp will just go frozen like icey not moving at all.. the temp can go up to 65...goodness sake... ain't it unbelievable..?!?!?!... the best thing is to get a coolermaster jet 7 and it works real quiet as well.. don't we all just love a fan which is quiet and great quality!! and the best part is... WORTH OF MONEY!!! yah thats what we're talking about now... WOM~! and yah.. folks.. in advance.. I don't think I'll be updating for the coming next two weeks.. I'll be busy dating with my darling.. lol.. won't even be around the net~!! txt me if u need me!!! wahahaha but it'll be on da cost of INTERNATIONAL roaming k?! don't say I never tell this time since u guys had some stupid ripped off from the past experience during my trip in GERMANY!~! wahahahahahaha... not my fault right?! man... but yah... sms me if its really important.. or if u have money to burn.. I dont mind!~! hehehehe.. yah... AUCKLAND here I come~!!! couldn't wait to see my baby... I miss her so much.. and yes pete~!! remember to pass me ur letter and ur pic~!! need to bring it to my cute cute darling's SEXY friend as what u call her~!!! ehehehehehe.. >_< man I'm making everybody puke now and I think this update is seriously too long its time for me to stop typing but man.. my fingers are not stopping.. they are rejecting all my commands... they are working on their own... ohhh gawd.. come safe me... my fingers are dying cause of exhaustion~!!! hellp... me... H.....E.......L....PPPPP MEEEEEE.... = DROP DEAD=
x_x
 COOLER MASTER JET 7~! it looks real cute like kenny in southpark~!!! hahahaha... going insane.. ohh well what the hell.. there we go.. updates... super duper long updates... man... fingers... behave urself.. STOP... STOP... I say STOP... ................... ok.. STOPS TOP STOP STOP STOP.. here we go total stop.
| | Sunday, July 4th, 2004 | | 3:51 pm |
mum can be real annoying sometimes..
man... mum can be real annoying sometimes... she just freaking refuse to cook for lunch and dinner.. I've been like starving since god knows how long ago! man.. I feel like chopping her into pieces and cook her in a pot of ox-tail soup!!! argghhh... and man everybody's crazy with crazy timing.. waking up like god knows what time for breakfast.. sounds more like lunch to me...and.. diner will turn out to be supper real soon! argghh I hate it... I can't stand it!! I'm so gonna go out and buy myself some food!!! ... man mum just freaking pamper my brother like his KING or whatever shit! thats something I hate very much! damn him!... and freakin' pornsy arse he is! damn!!! fine I'll get my own food instead! I'll make mum look at me while I'm eating!! I dont need her cooking! bahhh! screw her food! not like I can't live without her food! she always think that she's right all the time!! SCREW IT!!! bahhhhhhhhhhh... | | 1:43 pm |
counting down yay counting down!!!
I am so there to hug my darling!!! >_< couldn't wait!!! hehehehehe.. I MISS HER LIKE MAD!!! NOBODY miss her as much as I do!!! I'm going insane!!! ^^ and YAY YAY!!! darlin' is so SO SO SO CUTE WHEN SHE SPEAK cantonese!!! >_< hehehehe... I love her so much!! I feel so special!!! mmmMMmm... xoxo ^.~ hehehe.. man I feel like pinching her cheek off!! but not! hehehe.. mm I wanna hug her so badly now!! awweee which makes me miss her even more in a way!! we had a very proper conversation after the whole BUSY week.. FINALLY!! man.. I'm so happy!! couldn't stop laughing.. couldn't stop giggling ... couldn't stop smiling... have you ever think about it.. how fantastic a person can be.. and such a big influence they bring into your life... my darling's the best! Katy's the best!! she's the cutest in the whole wide world!!! in the whole universe!!! yay!! my baby's the best!!! ^^ I'm so proud to have her!!! woooHooo.. nobody can ever compete with her!!! muahahahahahaha... yay yay!! >_< ok I know I'm making everybody puke now!!! wahahahaha... sorry!!!but thats the fact and the truth!! me and darlin' finally get the time of our own!! man... we had great times aren't we darling?! wink wink nudge nudge!! ^.~ hehehehe... I'm so so happy!! after a long long week .. finally!! thank god.. finally!!! thank freaking god aye?! ^^ well.. man... well it's yen leng's birthday today!! well HAPPY 18th Birthday Yen Leng! getting your tattoo aye!! ahahaha.. it looks like JEM and the holigram!! lol well... except its the bad girl's star... not the PINKish star!! hahahahaha.. well have fun having a tattoo!! im sure u'll get addicted to the pain!! hehehe.. well well.. and for my buddies...my gawd man.. I'm actually suppose to update this gadget thing I've found out recently which is real great... and I haven't been telling you folks... xlife's bugging me about it.. here you are folks.. some updates on gadgets... >_< man.. u folks should so go and dig around!! don't just depend on me!! altho im a freak having fun with it!! and u guys just sit there and wait for the results! man... lol ohh well its not a problem after all.. and yah... check out this art site as well.. its real cool.. I'll list it down here so u guys can have fun browsing!!!
ok here it is some worth buying craps!!! I've check it out!! if u wanna do the wireless LAN thing.. 3com has one of the best so far... I think.. ^^ I'm not sure what u guys think I think its real cool... try it...
 ain't it cool?! man... it looks great and it perform great as well!! its only like ermm.. 99 pounds excluding VAT and including VAT would be 116.33 pounds! worth buying kay im telling you!!
and yah.. as I promise.. the website thing for art...mmkay thats it for now.. have fun!!
http://www.deviantart.com it's real cool... check it out!!
I'll keep u guys update later!!!... I wanna play pool right now.. its sunday!! me miss my darling so much!!! hey pete!! u better get online soon as well.. yen leng miss u like mad as well.. before she forgets about u.. u better ya know?! ^^
| | Saturday, July 3rd, 2004 | | 4:27 pm |
Too busy for updates
Yep.. just as the title written.. too busy for updates lately... Too stress.. and too busy... everything was like piling up for me to finish... work is never done... man it almost kill me... and finally its WEEKEND~! I almost choke myself for not having the space to BREATH!..Numerous sleepless night is driving me insane.. I'm at the first stage of suffering from INSOMNIA! damn.. life's been real busy, stress and frustrated for me recently.. emotion is getting out of control... well.. I'm not sure what happen to me now.. all I feel like doing now is just to swim in the water without the need of coming back up to the surface to BREATH... how fun would that be.. without oxygen tank at ur back trying to kill u in a way as well... hmmm... well basically the whole week sucky like arsehole.. but there's this part which was real JOYFUL!~~ I've receive some letters that's written back in year 2002!! can u believe it?! FINALLY!!! >_< I was so touched.. speechless... darling I love you more and more each sec of my life!!! you mean so much to me!!
| | Tuesday, June 29th, 2004 | | 8:37 am |
MASK!!!!
Do y'all have any idea what MASK cartoon is?! Man.. if you were born during the 80's for sure you'll know. It's sad that you don't know k! Because it's one of the best cartoon around aside some others like what smurfs, voltrone!... ohhh ok.. I'm going nutz again after doing the survey thing that Katy sent to me.. hehehehe... ok basically I forgotten about the existance of MASK till last night while trying to recall some of those cartoons that I love!!! my goodness.. and WHAMMOOOO there comes MASK!!! hey honestly its not THE MASK! it's MASK!! it ain't JIM CAREY THE MASK!! it's totally different! This is much cooler so here I have a pic of it ... EBAY are still bidding their stuff!!! man if only I can buy stuff through ebay like how I can back in new jersey.. damn.. but it's a good thing as well too many stuff on ebay are such a temptation for buyer!!! well I guess this is about it for today's MORNING journal.. and yes... today is 29th!!! darlin' !!! can u remember without double checking on certain thing?!?!?!?! I think you remember aye?! ^^ HAPPY 29th!! ehehehehe.. >_< LaLa LAND!!...let's all go to lala land!~!~!
| | Sunday, June 27th, 2004 | | 7:49 pm |
MEEGO!!! >_
Hehehehehe... I've a new obsession!!! MEEGO!!! >_< obsessed over it!!! darlin made me a COMBINE meego!!! woooHooo.. it's so cute!!! i'll put it on 24 7... wahahahaha.. I've been pretty crazy today... doing meego all day.. delaying my painting job back in office and errmm... DOOR KNOB!! darlin so know what I mean aye?! lol... months!!! >_< can't believe I'm delaying stuff like that!!! better get the door knob done by tonight! its a MUST I think!!!! else i'm getting my life so screwed up!!! LIFELESS!!! I'm hungry!!! whens dinner?! damn... greenday!!! HAUSHINKA!! OMG... stomache killing itself now!!! oooooohhh I couldn't wait to hug darlin right now!! hehehehehe... ok.. i'll continue this later!!!
| | Thursday, June 24th, 2004 | | 9:53 am |
run out of paper!!
The sun rose upon a tranquil world, and beamed down upon the peaceful garden like a benediction. Breakfast over, here I am on my desk waiting to start my busy life again. System is still loading... I need to print some stuff and I realize my delaying habit has really annoys me alot lately, I've RUN OUT OF PAPER FINALLY! Everything seems to be picking up real slow today, suddenly everything seems to be real sensitive over my ears.. the table fan is working like usual.. wind sweeping across my face gently, the air-cond has been turn off. My mind is filled with someone's laughter, face, memories, voices, I couldn't concentrate on anything that I'm doing.Driving me crazy, so many paper work lying on my desk back in the office waiting for me to sign and here I am stuck back home. Blood test results coming out tomorrow night / Saturday. I don't know how am I feeling now, worried?! I guess so.. to tell the truth, I'm pretty scared out of my life, life has always been like this ever since I know. There's always a balance out when things turns great. I'm a very pessimistic person as I know and couldn't deny it, wishing that the time would just stop for a while, feeling hard to breath... | | Wednesday, June 23rd, 2004 | | 8:00 pm |
decision... >_
OMG!! I shouldn't go browsing through the net... I saw something that I want!!! but PETE!!! HELP ME OUT!! I've already got like 5 of them lying on my book shelf.. do u think I should buy this one?! it looks so COOL!!! so hard to resist!!!
 Can u believe it?! its a BIBLE!!! cool aye?! with the THIRSTY word on it~! real cool!!! my gawdd... hmmm... do u think uncle Eric's possible to get it from his Glad Sound?! I couldn't call Sarah coz she's still in Singapore.. could u ask him about it for me when u see him during cell group?! THANK YOU THANK YOU~!!! >_< should I should I not!?!?! I dont know... ahhh... ehehehehe.. this is weird!!! im going psycho all of a sudden~!!! hehehehehe...darlin' says up to me... >_< should I should I?!?!?!?!? honestly should I?! I've a full range lying on my book shelf... NKJV.. NLT... u name it I have it... Ohhh.. PASTOR PASTOR?! >_< goodness.. JESUS FREAK I SO AM!!!!
| | 2:12 pm |
weirdest dream ever...
Good Afternoon! This is PKT News!
It's not about superman.. nor batman! It's about GUN DOWN in da car! LIQUID COMING OUT from the back of somebody's head! Blood shattered on da driver seat! ohh no it was just dribbling.. tht's what katy said! lol Tiffany was awfully calm and went saying.. " You'll be alright! " altho katy thinks that she's gonna die in her dream.. I kinduv can't remember most part of the dream but the part about naming blood as LIQUID was seriously funny that's why I'm putting this on PKT news once again! lol it was a drunken master chapter 1 for me last night.. I'm not too sure what I've spoken to katy all I can ever remember was me ended up sleeping soundly and happily after that.. I hope its a good thing .. ohhh I just got inform that it's no longer LIQUID.. it's BRAIN JUICE!.. a.k.a gooey crap.. ewwwy to me.. >_< kt's getting real gross lately! .. ohh she yawn! like a little baby girl! .. I love her so so so so much! nobody can ever replace her! ^^ I think this is the worst journal I've ever put up so far cause its all messy and I've no idea why.. maybe I'm still drunk.. am I or am I not?! lol... don't care! hehehehe.. as long as the weird dream brought to you by PKT News~! lol
| | Tuesday, June 22nd, 2004 | | 5:00 pm |
Vodka...
After reading yen's journal.. mistaken vcoke as vodka.. which reminds me I've still a few bottle of vodka and chivas lying in my cupboard.. feel like drinking so much now.. don't really wanna stay sober.. hmmm... I feel like getting drunk.. I'm real sick of lots of stuff... work.. people.. and stuff.. feel pretty frustrated in lots of stuff as well.. feel like don't give a damn about anything... hmmm... Why does things have to look back at times when you've already let go and move on.. if it's already let go and move on.. then just let it be that way.. regrets are something that one might through in life.. understand that you can't do much to change the fact is what you need to learn.. hmmm.. all I want is just a simple life.. thats it.. hmmm... I wonder where did I put my whisky cup.. hmmm...
| | 2:24 pm |
still sick...
Finally the sometime...later.. blood test has been done this morning.. couldn't drag any longer cause I'm feeling real sick.. the results will be out this friday night / saturday.. I'm pretty worried.. my blood pressure seems to be perfectly fine.. but .. hmm I don't know.. don't even dare to think much... suddenly my mind become so blank and empty... found emptiness in me alot this morning.. pessimistic.. recalling too many promises that I've made with someone.. wondering if I am able to keep my promises in such condition.. so many negative thoughts fly by.. I don't want to make empty promises to people... guys..life is seriously something very fragile.. keep it healthy and alive.. so u won't have regrets later.. u will soon understand the meaning when your life turns out to be real happening and great then you'll tend to treasure it more.. you seriously never know what will happen next.. you might have seen movies and fwd mails from friends regarding about it.. but have u put serious thoughts in it?! it might sound so ridiculous and silly but it is so true.. hmm... what you're hoping for .. wishing for... might just wipe off if you're not healthy....well I've bump into one of my old high schoolmate around clinic this morning.. she was bringing a little boy for a check up.. I don't know what went into me.. I just have a feeling that the little boy is her son so I asked.. indeed lil boy is her son and she's telling me she's not married and she's doing the single parenting now.. the little boy is about 2 years old now.. she have so much motivation in her and faith in her that tomorrow will be a brighter day.. I can sense it through her love towards the son.. but at the same time.. losing hope and exhaustion look is hanging on her face.. she's currently jobless...wish I could help out a bit.. so I gave her my cell phone number and offer her a ride to her house since it's just on the way.. at this moment it reflected me seriously anything could happen..especially when u less expect it... hmmm.. I guess God has his plans.. hmm hard to put my trust in him after too many disappointments.. but I still have to have my faith in Him.. what choices do I still have?! hmmm... am I too paranoid?! I hope I'm just paranoid instead of being right in it.. hmmm.. I don't think I make much sense here now.. hmmm.. suddenly life seems to be real dull to me... I don't quite understand why... hmmm.... ............
“We have seen too much defeatism, too much pessimism, too much of a negative approach”
(Margo Jones).
| | Monday, June 21st, 2004 | | 11:05 pm |
For Sunday's sake n SICK..
For Sunday's sake! This is for Sunday since I didn't update it! Well too many things happen last night so I don't even have the time to do some updates~! First of all welcoming this little baby into the family of BeeBee + Dickie = Squicky!! IT'S A SHE!! IT'S A SHE!!!!!!! ^^ unfortunately something bad happen as well but .. God Blessed with Squicky else darlin' would be in so much pain = me be in worse pain! so it's all good now I guess.. Thank God For that~!
SICK! Hell yes I'm sick like a puppy now so is kt, we do share most of the things I realize.. including SICK~! lol >_< sounds weird but still.. I hope she's getting well real soon.. I can tell that she's in so much pain that her nose is block and all those symptoms for catching a COLD.. hmm.. well and congrat my darlin kt for her first time of parallel parked!! She did it~! well I still think darlin should call squicky MONSTER!!! hehehehe.. I love the idea of MONSTER~! ^^ I think I should get back on my bed.. im not feeling good at all but just for the sake of updating stuff.. and well this part is to apologize to someone that I seriously feel sorry for.. " Yen Leng! I'm sorry if I did offended u for the ' Shit ' word~! Didn't mean it!! I'm sorry!! Please don't keep it in the heart~! Coz it's never good to keep rotten stuff in ur heart else it'll rotten up ur heart as well ^^ and yes.. Pete was calling me as soon as he got home just then.. asking me how are u and stuff.. maybe both of u perhaps should email each other to keep each other updated huh?! perhaps he should drop by ur live journal thing as well.. anyhow I gotta get some rest now.. I'm feeling so sick.. but I've to be tough so tht katy has somebody to depend on even if she fall.. well I guess this update is basically about stuff that is not so interesting for my buddies but hey dude.. pray for the little SHE coz she's still weak.. ^^ but ACTIVE~! I guess.. from what I know from kt she squicks alot~~! and that is seriously real cute~! ciao for now.. no new gadgets~! if u wanna try some still.. go try AVG antivirus thing.. it's FREE~! works pretty good as well~! ^^ thts it for today folks.. night..
Current Mood:  sick | | Saturday, June 19th, 2004 | | 9:41 pm |
PKT!!! hehehehe
I've a new Company name PKT News!! lol my gawd man.. randomly stuff runs over my mind!! >_< yeah.. now updates on myself.. I've been real tired today.. exhausted.. and my gawd.. the sometimes and later for blood test.. kinduv delaying again.. >_< I couldn't believe myself.. oh well maybe it's actually myself not wanting to go! Got myself all covered up with paint this evening and... WooHooo.. having fun enjoying my new MAC! lol.. and yes I miss somebody so so much today~! My one and only KATY~! ^^ ohh yah.. one more thing! previously mom was being attack by neighbour's dogs.. and guess what.. it kinduv proof that people whos staying at the same row as my house are pretty friendly and educated~! They drop by our house tonight to check on how's mom's condition and bringing some chicken esssence as well how nice of them.. well Guess the world ain't that ugly after all~! and yes... freakin hell I'm so gonna kill one of my dog one day when I turn crazy.. stupid fluffy kinduv torn off the bumper guard thing AGAIN!! why is he doing that?! I've no idea! I better check out on some crazy dog's behaviour on da net later.. hmm.. well thts about it for today~! ^^ I MISS KT SO SO MUCH!!! and yes.. I'm Proffan You're watching PKT NEWS.. brought to u by PKT!! GOOD NIGHT and have a pleasant night~! LOL... >_ | | 9:27 pm |
PC to MAC! WOoHoo
OKok... I know I'm a bit late for the updates guy!!! but seriously I've been really multi-tasking tonight~! Juz to satisfy everybody!! and also MYSELF of course!! hehehe.. well officially telling u guys... go ahead and try the PC to MAC thing! its real cool! and FUN!!! I've tried it and so far nothing's wrong with my laptop yet.. but if there is.. dont put the blame on me!! take it at ur own risk k?! hahahaha.. but so far I guess it should be ok.. no harm to get another OS on da same comp.. enjoy! here's the add for it for it folks tht u guys have been like waiting for so long!!! hahahaha... sorry..for the late updates http://www.engadget.com/entry/8828351836181248/ ENJOY! lol
| | 9:49 am |
Lifeless..
I seriously have NO LIFE!!! Why am I here?! somebody tell me!!!!! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! my gawd man... I wanna have a life!.. well I'm suppose to work now.. lol and should I still go for my blood test thing later?! since I didn't do it yesterday.. maybe I should... we'll get back to that again..sometime..later.. lol.. ^^ I'm getting real annoy with somebody calling my house early in the morning just then! It's crazy! Have some manners pls.. respect someone else whos still sleeping and if I were to stay alone.. it's ok.. but.. THINK!!! man... I'm sure u don't like mailman waking u up early in the morning at ur doorstep just to deliver crap stuff to u right?! so I think its better not to wake someone up early as that just to have some crap conversation and get ppl piss as well..Pete~! I'll tell u about it~!!!! and HELP ME OUT PLS~!!! PPL!!! I NEED HELP!! DESPERATELY NEED SOME HELP OUT HERE~!!! DYing .. >_< ohh yah by da way guys.. I've found out how to turn ur normal windows into MAC~! wahahaha... I'll share with u folks later in the evening~! fun fun fun.. I'm kinduv having fun browsing it tho.. so .. meet me later in the evening for some updates over it~! not sure if its working nicely like it sounds like yet.. I'll be the white mice~! till then... " I'll BE BACK~! " pukey pukey.. >_<
and a NEW TOY~!! hehehe
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